So, concensus seems to be that, if I move the droplet to a foreign location where the IPs aren’t blocked, and make sure I get an unblocked IP by trying until it works, I could be OK. But, maybe DO isn’t a good place to host an email server any longer.
This makes me sad, since I’ve used DO for this, and a few other special projects since 2018, and maybe earlier. It easily beats (I tested it), Google, AWS, and Azure for application latency.
I am, I hope temporarily, migrating to Google Workspace, since I need email connectivity for my tiny business NOW, and I’ve already lost 3 days of communication to this problem.
Annoyingly, the DO support line promised a response within 24 hours. I did, in fact, get a response right away, which was an email of common problems completely unrelated to my question. And, in fact, I got a response within 24 hours, which was another “hey, tell us if this problem still matters to you, cause if you don’t, we’re going to close this ticket”. The DO response was every bit as useless as I would fear, and not even the slightest bit helpful, or promising, or anything other than “are you still there… why haven’t you just gone away… please go away”.
In case my sarcasm has masked my annoyance, I am not happy with DO.
Thanks for you here for your answers, pointers to messages I had missed, and your help.